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Did you grow up in the kind of family that all got together in the evenings and hung out as a group on the weekends? Or were you the kind of kid who hung around in your bedroom doing your own thing, away from the prying eyes of your family?
According to some parents online, if you relate to the first one, you grew up in a “living room family,” and the greater togetherness of this family dynamic has some big benefits.
First of all, what exactly is a ‘living room family’? Well, it’s exactly what it sounds like: families who tend to spend more time together as a unit, hanging out together in the living room instead of cordoned off in their bedrooms.
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The term seems to have gone mainstream through a mothering and parenting influencer named Magdalena, known as @mindfulmagda on Instagram when she went viral earlier this year with a message on the subject.
The philosophy behind ‘living room families’ is quite simple: if your family is functional, being able to deal with conflictsand has a dynamic where everyone feels like they can really be themselves, they tend to gravitate towards each other and spend time together in the living room.
This is contrary to how many of us (and certainly this writer) grew up – everyone would hide in their respective bedrooms to get relief from their annoying siblings or to escape the conflicts that broke out everywhere or, in some cases , to get some reprieve from having to hide who they really are.
When Magdalena, who grew up in a living room family, heard about the concept, she wrote: “It made me look at our children who always want to be exactly where we are, whether they are relaxing on the couch, chatting in the kitchen or folding .doing laundry together, in a completely different light.” She seems to take pride in creating such an environment for her children.
Many online seemed to have similar sentiments, with several parents commenting that they noticed their children tending to join the family in the living room, while they themselves spent their entire upbringing in their bedroom.
I’ve noticed this at my brother’s house too. Their little fivesome is almost always together, to the point that my sister-in-law often jokes that she can’t wait for the teenage years when the kids don’t want as much closeness!
Like most things, a ‘living room family’ and a ‘bedroom family’ are probably the extreme ends of a spectrum; there are shades of gray in between, and that doesn’t mean your family no longer functions.
Many online even seemed to shudder at the idea that not being a “living room family” was somehow a shortcoming. After all, we all have different personality types, and some of us need more quiet time than others and shut down accordingly. This is especially true if someone in the family is neurodivergent.
“I was a bedroom family and I had a wonderful childhood. I grew up and am still a bedroom family,” one mother commented on Magdalena’s post. “I find this a very bizarre interpretation of a ‘good family/childhood’.”
Even many who like the idea have one major caveat: just wait until the teenage years! After all, teenagers typically don’t want anything to do with their parents, even in the healthiest homes.
There is certainly no one right or wrong way to form a family, and many parents said their families were a combination of these two types. But that whole thing about trust and feeling accepted enough to share space is also very real.
As someone who grew up in the kind of family where hanging out in the living room was something I had to mentally and emotionally prepare for, believe me: If your kids want to spend time with you at all, you’re definitely doing something right — whether it’s in the living room or otherwise. It is the trust and acceptance that make the difference.
John Sundholm is a writer, editor and video personality with twenty years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers topics in culture, mental health and human interest.
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